The Top Ten Books Read in 2012, #10

So I'm doing my annual countdown of the best books I read on 2012. There is a small caveat before I start. I didn't read as much. I read fourteen less books in 2012 than in 2011. This is in major part due to the fact that I'm still learning to manage my time well as a priest, but it's also because I decided to read the incredibly long novel The Father's Tale by Michael O'Brien (remember back when I wanted to do a summer reading? #fail), of which I am not even half-way finished. People have told me they loved it, and it has its moments of greatness. However, it, at least to me, is incredibly slow. It'll probably show up on next year's list because I'll finish it sometime in October. Without further ado, # 10

So I haven't read a play in awhile. In fact, I haven't read a play since my Shakespeare class back in 2006. I came across Oscar Wilde's  The Importance of Being Earnest through the Gutenberg Project. I downloaded it as PDF onto my iPad.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wilde has a great wit about him. He channels Shakespeare in the great comedy of acting as someone who you are not, or impersonation. Weddings play into it as well, which Shakespeare used as a great device for wit in his plays; Much Ado About Nothing comes to mind.

I found myself laughing quite a bit at the word play that Wilde uses and even the names. Algernon is strange enough, but that his nickname is Algy puts it over the top.

For a Victorian laugh, look no further than Wilde's play.

The Absolute Necessity of Awkwardness

To Genevieve and Katie, Who Have Watched Me Learn This


There is much that is lacking in our culture in  the way of acesticism. It is not that we are utterly devoid of discipline. It's just that our discipline seems always directed toward the most marginal and mediocre of things. A man who 'works out' develops large biceps so that, when he sits around in his cubicle, it might feel a little less empty. A stuggling family eats Raman noddles and buys their clothes at Goodwill so that all the children can have iPhones. A soccer mom limits her food intake, not simply to prevent obesity, but so that she might feel sexy in the sequins panties that her husband bought her. Chesterton was fond of saying that it is not the vices, but the virtues, that were let loose to wreak havoc when the Post Christian era began. Thus we see the old forms of fasting and renunciation haven't disappeared; they just no longer correspond to charity. We still forgo food and beat our bodies into submission; its just that we no longer expect earth and heaven as our reward, but merely the worldly.

Being born into such a situation, it might seem odd that I suggest a reexamination of an obscure form of acesiticism, so obscure in fact that I think hagiologists are the only ones who ever wrote on it. If all the world is mistaken about the nature of self-discipline, why on earth should I waste my time with this ambigious point? Would it not be better to stick to the main issue: the radical loss of meaning in discipline? Perhaps, but (praise God) there are much better writers that can handle that battle. I am obscure, and so that the author may be comensurate with his subject matter, I will keep to reflecting on points of seeming obscurity.
In all the great saints, there was an acesiticism of humility that I can only call the radical call to awkwardness. We read about it in the mendicants mostly, though it is easier to put in proper context when we look at the more recent Saints. It can be seen when Boniface cut down the oak, when Patrick lit the bonfire, when Teresa took off her shoes and danced in the middle of meal time. Therese betrayed it when she snuck into the male monastery while on pilgrimage, and Athanasius displayed it when he jumped out of hiding to stop Constantine's chariot and argue with the Emperor. JP II was notorious for it, sneaking away in the middle of meeting and meals only to be found lying prostrate before the tabernacle---kissing men, women and children full out on the face in St. Peter's square---doodling out poetry when he got bored during sessions of the Second Vatican Council. Aquinas was caught talking to the crucifix. Pier Gorigio interrupted conversation to say rosaries. Mother Teresa walked out of committee meetings when she found out how much their bottled water had cost. And the list goes on. The point is that all of these saints knew the great secret of humility and kindness: that we must risk seeming rude and vulgar. "We must defy convention if only to keep the commandments." (GKC, once more) We must learn what God has always known: that every act of love is at risk of being interpreted as an infringement on freedom and, thus, an act of annoyance.

Now somewhere along the way, our culture made awkwardness the ultimate mortal sin. We have invoked these great disciplines of ours, the schedules, the diets, the exercise routines, the penny-pinching, all in the name of avoiding discomfort. The man at the gym never breaths a word of humility. The family on the tight budget never questions the necessity of wireless technology. The woman haphazardly starving herself never stops to think if her husband should be looking at more than her thinner thighs. At the end of the day, all of these disciplines bring them further from, not closer to, the type of humility that Francis enjoyed or Don Bosco exuded when they spent all their time with animals and children. Saints were always faulted for the 'awkwardness' that such a lifestyle created. But the secret that all the Saints knew was that the greatest joys in life begin when we call into question our own limited assumptions and priorities. "There is nothing like pain and discomfort to plant the flag of heaven behind enemy walls."(CSL, this time) Sheer happiness can never give us such a perspective, for sheer happiness is all too small a feeling. There must be an element of embarrassment or our humility is insincere. There most be that moment when it all seems wrong in order for us to know that it is truly right. The problem, as far as I can tell, with our silly Chicken Soup for the Soul discipline is not that it lacks effort, but that it lacks something of this authentic embarrassment. We look for disciplines that will bring us happy sex lives, better pleasures, stronger contentment, stable relationships, etc. We should look for the discipline that would risk all that in order to bring us back to ourselves and the Other. It is a discipline that constantly bets anything in order to gain everything. And that kind of bet is always embarrassing.

One final note before I leave you to assess your own asceticism of awkwardness; it is not enough to simply defy convention. It is not enough to be counter-cultural, eccentric, and thus enticing. Even the pagans have done the same. I hang out with many artists and eccentrics who, for all their oddness, are no closer to the Kingdom of Heaven. What I have discovered, what I so wish to see more of in the lives of my brothers and sisters, and what I am dying to find more often in my own life, is that radical humility in which I am utterly embarrassed, rolling-on-the-floor-of-my-mind-laughing-at-myself-embarrassed, and then Love comes rushing in and gathers me up. This asceticism of awkwardness should not only make Christians stand out: it should make them give up. Surrender. Make a gift of themselves. Man only discovers himself through a sincere gift of self. A sincere gift of self requires a great deal of confusion and blushing. We are told that our bodies are washed in the blood of the Lamb, and I have often wondered if we see something of that crimson when our cheeks turn red.

Top Ten Books I Read in 2011, #8

Number 8 is ...

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

This was my guilty pleasure for the year. I couldn't help but be attracted by the premise of one of our most popular historical figures being a beast killing vampires. SGS tried his best to integrate the story into actual Lincoln history, which made it all the more interesting and compelling.

I listened to this on audiobook via Audible. It was a great read and let me forget about other difficult things going on.

I'm also looking forward to the movie produced by Tim Burton.

Friday Thoughts - Can The Muppet's Save Television From Itself?

Last weekend, as reward for completing a paper I went with my sister for a bit of nostalgia, The Muppet Movie. It was one of those times when your glad the characters you love are back on stage. It held every bit of the cheesiness of the TV show and previous movies ... and it was awesome. The plot revolved around the Muppet's fighting for retention of their studio, which is going to be purchased by an evil oil tycoon (who can't laugh). They had to put on one last show to raise 10 million dollars to save the studio.

SPOILER ALERT: Plot developments from the film will be revealed (and are necessary for me to make my point)

They pitched their idea to every major TV network and were rejected by all of them in typical Muppet outsider fashion. Kermit and company are told they are irrelevant. Their type of genuine homegrown slapstick comedy without violence, cursing, or much to any sex appeal. The show is picked up when a small TV network has to drop its show Punch Teacher because it is being sued.

The Muppet's are a different sort of brand for Disney. They seem to transcend, in a certain sense, today's media. They appeal via nostalgia to parents and naturally to kids. They break the mode or rather retain the mode that has been broken. Said mode is that non-human characters; i.e. animation, puppets, claymation, etc. do not dabble greatly in the sins of man (murder, excessive violence, sex). That is part of the Muppet's brand.

And, frankly, give the world more. America needs actually wholesome television. Spongebob Squarepants is far from wholesome. Thanks to the 'pioneer' writers and animators of Ren and Stimpy and Beavis and Butthead cartoons have become more and more adult. The Muppet's can bring back good childlike entertainment. Bring the brand to a major television network. It can survive. I'm putting all my entrainment eggs in one basket but that's because I look at the store and its the only one I trust with my fragile entertainment eggs.

P.S. Mahna, mahna

Schoolwork?!

"'School does not, properly speaking, mean school, but leisure." Leisure, Pieper says ,is he counterpart to work, philosophical concept of the Sabbath. I, then, find oxymoronic the phrase: school work. School means leisure. Leisure is the opposite, in a sense, of work, yet in this common phrase they are together. I found myself laughing at this insight.

Reflection on Chapter I of Leisure: the Basis of Culture

Wisdom from a dead British guy who sought to make fun of the monotony of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Log stardate ... wait wrong sci-fi series. Welcome to the second installment of Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide series titled The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. After stealing the Heart of Gold, finding an ancient planet, and finding out the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything (42, just in case you didn't know), our protagonists worked up quite an appetite. Where better to go than the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Well, I would beg to differ being from New Orleans and all, I think Commander's Palace or Emeril's would be much more appetizing and enjoyable than eating a cow who wants to be eaten and watching the finality of the universe. Nonetheless, Adams wields with his pen another goop and hilarity worth your time. It might even work better at making your abs fit than 10 minute abs.

In this installment, one meets the man who runs the universe, a very interesting look at the true wielding of power.

The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are the problem.

And so this is the situation we find: a succession of Galactic Presidents who so much enjoy the fun and palaver of being power that they very rarely notice that they're not.

And somewhere in the shadows behind them - who?

Who can possibly rule if no one who wants to do it can be allowed to?

Humility and the desire to see reality as it is forms a true leader and one who can wield power. Who thought comedy could be so theological (probably not Douglas Adams)?

We also find out the final answer to the question on whether man evolved from apes. The answer is no. We are rather descendants from a species called the Golgafrinchanms. The majority of the people were absolutely brilliant comparable to Einstein, Newton, Thomas Aquinas, Aristotle, da Vinci, and Hawking. However, there was a third of the population that was a tad bit less than mediocre whom the other considered absolutely useless. These useless individuals had such unprodigious jobs as hairdressers (not my own opinion), middle management, and telephone cleaners. The brilliant 2/3rds of the population tricked "the useless third" into fleeing from a dying planet (which was very easy to do). This third was set on a 3 year course towards a primitive planet called Earth. After crash landing, they bored to death the native population of Cro-Magnon and unfortunately reproduced, hence Earth-man. All has been solved. No need for scientists to work any longer.

If you wish to break the monotony and/or intensity of mid-semester reading, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is a good choice (of course after you read the first). It will provide answers to the question on the top of your brain like: how to blow up a star, the time of the second coming, how to suspend the space-time continuum, or the nature and origin of our species.

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish, the number 42, the Infinite Improbability Drive, and Vogon Poems

I just finished reading the first installment of the Douglas Adams sci-fi series, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It is a great summer read for all those looking for a last lovely hoorah before they hit the real books accorded to them to by professors of such fame and fortune that only use the books they themselves have written while sometimes using the books of popular noteriety and sometimes, on occasion, or something to that effect, an actual classic in their own field, i.e. Aristotle, Aquinas, Newton, Hippocritus, Einstein, da Vinci (he wrote stuff right), whoever is famous in engineering, and of course, Dante, Shakespeare, and Crichton (the great writers of the English language).

Never mind the long run on sentence. I found Hitchhiker's to afford me the time to laugh out loud because of ridiculous yet intelligent hilarity such as that (I'm glad you caught and appreciated my self-proclaimed brilliance). It is very well written. The plot and character development allow you to get into the story and feel right with Arthur Dent, who has lost his home, Earth, because it was destroyed to make way for an intergalactic bypass. The obvious microchasm and macrochasm show that the Adams uses throughout adds to the level of comedy. His characters are creations of comic genius. Zaphod Beetlebrox, the man from a planet somewhere near the star Betelgeuse, affords most of the laughs because of his out-of-this-world personality, a mix between Indiana Jones bravado, James Bond womanization, and Inspector Clouseau recklessness, all while having two heads, three arms and the distinction of being the Intergalactic President.

It really is a much fun to read. I found it most difficult to read in public places though. Can you imagine the odd looks you would receive if you were singularly watching your favorite comedy in busy coffeehouse? Your laughter, which would also be singular, would permeate their tepid and poor existence for having not experience the same hilarity you were. It creates odd situations, comical ones in fact, and that is what the comedy of this novel is all based. Create odd situations with maladjusted and far-out characters and watch the laughter arise.

So drink your three pints, eat you some peanuts, and stick out your thumb. Get ready for a very funny ride.